Love Quote of the Day

http://feeds.feedburner.com/feedburner/Majp

It's my birthday! - with songs no less...!

State of the state on the big 5-0...

If you know me, it's gonna be questions here, instead of just the usual banter...

1. Why haven't I trusted my intuition before? Why does there seem to be a conflict between my intuition, meaning listening to it and dealing with what it says, and not listening to it and trying to force whatever instead? What would happen if we only acted on our intuition?

2. Has love really died? Does love conquer all or not? (FYI to my family: These are esoteric and rhetorical questions ONLY!)

3. Why am I so naturally melancholy?

4. Have I already had my 15 minutes of fame?

5. And last, but certainly not least: Why do I try to universalize my feelings and writings and all these stupid questions? LOL!

...other than those immediately perplexing issues, which most probably don't have any immediate un-perplexing answers - I'm good!

Dancing in the street today to:

1. Buffalo Springfield - Bluebird - Great deep Steven Stills guitar jam in the middle...yeah :-) and those lyrics...my oh my.

Listen to my bluebird laugh
She can't tell you why
Deep within her heart you see
She knows only cryin', just cryin', yeah

There she sits, a lofty perch
Strangest color blue
Flying is forgotten now
She thinks only of you, just you, ohhhh..

So get all those blues, must be a thousand hues
And each is differently used, you just know
You sit there mesmorized by the depth of her eyes
If you could catagorize, she got soul
She got soul, she got soul, she got soul

Do you think she loves you
Do you think at all?
Soon she's going to fly away
Sadness is her own
Fill herself a bath of tears
And go home, and go home

Resonating with Emerson

"Intellectual science has been observed to beget invariably a doubt of the existence of matter. Turgot said, "He that has never doubted the existence of matter, may be assured he has no aptitude for metaphysical inquiries." It fastens the attention upon immortal necessary uncreated natures, that is, upon Ideas; and in their presence, we feel that the outward circumstance is a dream and a shade. Whilst we wait in this Olympus of gods, we think of nature as an appendix to the soul. We ascend into their region, and know that these are the thoughts of the Supreme Being. "These are they who were set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was. When he prepared the heavens, they were there; when he established the clouds above, when he strengthened the fountains of the deep. Then they were by him, as one brought up with him. Of them took he counsel."

Their influence is proportionate. As objects of science, they are accessible to few men. Yet all men are capable of being raised by piety or by passion, into their region. And no man touches these divine natures, without becoming, in some degree, himself divine. Like a new soul, they renew the body. We become physically nimble and lightsome; we tread on air; life is no longer irksome, and we think it will never be so. No man fears age or misfortune or death, in their serene company, for he is transported out of the district of change. Whilst we behold unveiled the nature of Justice and Truth, we learn the difference between the absolute and the conditional or relative. We apprehend the absolute. As it were, for the first time, we exist. We become immortal, for we learn that time and space are relations of matter; that, with a perception of truth, or a virtuous will, they have no affinity."

http://www.vcu.edu/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/naturetext.html

and that word was.....

Apophenia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apophenia

More on this later, and thanks to F for helping me locate it :-)

More sad sack...(read: NO physics here yet!)

What's the REAL difference between being a visionary and being mad? What's the REAL difference between seeing the sweeping, numinous trends and influences amongst the rich confluence of circumstances, history and potentialities and having (insert word here for seeing simple, random data turn into some sort of pattern or correlation that doesn't really exist - such word which I can't think of right now, have been trying to look it up for OVER 20 minutes now, and it's getting later and later, and I have to get to work, so screw it - I'm not going to be able to finish this post right this second!!! and boy, and I mad about it! WHAT IS THAT WORD?)....
tbc.

Fit to be tied! (No physics stuff here..)

Yeah - I'm fit to be tied, with myself.
Today I feel and think I'm just a breathing push/pull contradiction in emotions and feelings.....I'm WAY better than I was when I was younger, in the contraction and emotional swingey department - boy, I must have been a real handful to my boyfriends, my family......I'm better now, meaning as I come upon the big 5-0 - if better is more able to identify the contradictions and see myself in both sides of the shadow of the pendulum...One minute I'm in love, one minute I'm not, one minute I'm sad, one minute I'm not, one day I'm excited, one day I'm not, one month I'm loving, one month I'm not, one time I'm hot, one time I'm not, one year I'm happy, one year I'm not....

I was going to entitle this post 'the death of love' ... yeah - how fucking melodramatic is THAT?

Perspective is everything!

So I'm at work today, and my co-worker and I are having an issue with the printer....soon, everyone is calling and stopping by our desks to ask what's up. So this one woman comes by and asks why she suddenly can't print, and my co-worker says to her that no one can print right now - we're having a technical problem with the print server, and he adds that the issue should be fixed in about 10 minutes. So she leaves, and my co-worker walks away too. 5 minutes go by, and the same woman comes by my desk and asks me what wrong with her print function, that she can't print. So I tell her basically the same thing that my co-worker told her - yada yada. As she's leaving to go back to her office, my co-worker returns and looks at the woman walking away, and then look back at me. "So what did she want?" he asks. I tell him she asked me, pretty much, the same question she asked him, and that I told her the same thing that he had told her. My co-worker shakes his head and says tsk tsk. I say "Well, maybe she didn't hear what you said to her." My co-worker says, "No honey, she heard what I said all right, she just didn't listen to what I said."

I loved that! Sometimes it's just all about your perspective.

Today, I feel like sticking with the intellectual stuff - lord knows I'm too ephemeral to be thought of as smart, but during this internally heartfelt and confusing past year, maybe taking out the emotional would be a good thing, cause today I don't know which way is up within myself and I'm feeling incredibly stupid and small.

What have I learned during this last year?

Why can't I just get on with things?

Why am I so transparent and vunerable? And then can't even tell/say/deal with my real feelings about my life and the folks in it?

Yada yada - I'm a freaking mess!


More on the non-local universe later - cause I'm thinking (that's a good girl!) that isn't probabilities and quantum stuff still cartesian, in the sense that it's still more than one, or either A or B and then if not A then B is still two things, right? Still dual!?

Words I don't know - but should...with definitions, thankfully!

Sadly, these we gleamed from ONLY the 1.8.06 NYT magazine - yikes!

1. Pejorative
Tending to make or become worse. Disparaging; belittling

2. Invidious
Tending to rouse ill will, animosity, or resentment: invidious accusations. Containing or implying a slight; discriminatory: invidious distinctions.

3. Obeisance
A gesture or movement of the body, such as a curtsy, that expresses deference or homage.

4. Ineluctability
Not to be avoided or escaped; inevitable

5. Obdurate
Hardened in wrongdoing or wickedness; stubbornly impenitent. Not giving in to persuasion; intractable


Thanks to Dictionary.com :-) for the definitions

Is human consciousness an ontology?

Reading The Non-local Universe now...

More from this book about what I'm callling the singulation process..."If nonlocality is a property of the entire universe, then we must also conclude that an undivided wholeness exists on the most primary and basic level in all aspects of physical reality. What we are actually dealing with in science per se, however, are manifestations of this reality, which are invoked or ''actualized" in making acts of observation or measurement."

Not "actualized" but singulated.

New Year 2006

I'm back in CA today from a wonderful, and of course much too short visit back home...it's so hard going back and forth, and there are many ties to both locations...no easy solutions, so I cont. to log my frequent flyer miles :-) and try to make house in both places.

Reading the Non-Local Universe by Nadeau and Kafatos and still reading Brian Greene's Fabric of the Cosmos...

I've signed up for two classes this Spring - Western World Views II, with Tarnas and McDermott, and Edwards' 1 unit class on Time and Physics, or something like that - the text is Greene's book, so I figured I would take it to have space to discuss and process the book...

ode to plato

Plato's Fine Fabric


intricate and connected
wrapped, swaddled
like the baby jesus
hold, held, beholden
the soul's connection strong and true.

A reaching,
longing cherished
woven into something that cares,
supports and washes, over and through

Like a fine fabric,
adornment and containment of focus in caring for our souls.

Singulation as a process that's...

both a macro level process and a micro level process.

So now that I am a philosopher....

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex." - Karl Marx


"Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution." - Robert Zend


"The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it." - Bertrand Russell


"Consciousness is either inexplicable illusion, or else revelation." - C.S. Lewis

Help!? I think I'm becoming a philosopher!

early Sunday morning - Oakland, CA - weather is sunny with blue skies, but very chilly


How does one know if one is becoming a philosopher? Are there signs and symptom-like things you get or notice yourself doing? Does waking up crying most of the days qualify? Does feeling like you, your whole self, is becoming transparent qualify? Does feeling like you are losing your figure-ground perspective (in all life aspects mind you!)qualify oneself?
Does talking about yourself in the third person give you entrance in this what-I-would-think-is a highly selective 'club'?
OK - How about feeling like you are connected to most everyone, yet can't seem to quite make any deep, lasting connection with anyone? What about feeling that everything is so damn ethereal?
And last but not least - trying to universalize all your thinking - yup, that's one of the capstones for being a philohead, I would think!

I'm beginning to see the connection between some type of mental illness and being a philosopher :-)

And sadly, I woke up this morning thinking that I had become a philosopher. What's a girl to do?