Fit to be tied! (No physics stuff here..)

Yeah - I'm fit to be tied, with myself.
Today I feel and think I'm just a breathing push/pull contradiction in emotions and feelings.....I'm WAY better than I was when I was younger, in the contraction and emotional swingey department - boy, I must have been a real handful to my boyfriends, my family......I'm better now, meaning as I come upon the big 5-0 - if better is more able to identify the contradictions and see myself in both sides of the shadow of the pendulum...One minute I'm in love, one minute I'm not, one minute I'm sad, one minute I'm not, one day I'm excited, one day I'm not, one month I'm loving, one month I'm not, one time I'm hot, one time I'm not, one year I'm happy, one year I'm not....

I was going to entitle this post 'the death of love' ... yeah - how fucking melodramatic is THAT?