Recent dream 5 - The church of oneself

I'm calling this dream The Church of Oneself

So I'm beginning to sense a 'theme' lately about my dreams, and the theme isn't pleasant to contemplate.

I was some kind of truck driver, hauling big loads of 'stuff' across contry, or around the state, something like that. I was getting ready to make a delivery into this VT or MA church in a rual and quire beautiful neighborhood, it was Fall and the scene of the season was like out of one of those rural covered bridges photos. But it was also very Italian-looking at least in the same way that some pictures of Italy look - narrow cobblestone streets, vistas, etc.
So I was trying to find this church in this town to make a delivery - and I keep taking the wrong turn, not consciously of course, but I felt both the town beauty and it's confusion of streets like some mazes and such. (I can BARELY) write this now because I am thinking at he same time now rich this is in allegory and metaphor!!!) So I finally think I find it and I go inside to make sure - and WOW! it is sooo beautiful! picturesque afternoon light streaming through detailed stain glass windows, failing onto handmade and oil rubbed pews, all surrounded in a reverential quiet. I stand there for a moment soaking it in - and then realized that I'm not alone. I look up, way way up, because they are insanely tall!, and see that there are the nuns(?) walking around too - BUT these people are dressed like hookers and folks that might be in some freak show/circus instead of a Christian church. And my are they tall! Like basketball players tall - so I meekly look way up at them and ask them about the name of the church and is this the right one to make the delivery? They don't really answer me definitively, so I think I go outside and try to find a parking place for the truck. Then the scene changes slightly and I'm back inside the church, and I'm asking them if this is the right place again, but this time one of the nuns/hookers tells me that that it's OK honey, you are really one of us, not one of the nuns that are also in the church. I immediately start crying/weeping, because I see that she knows inside me and yes I am deceitful and unpure. I have this feeling of truth about myself for only a minute and it slowly started to change to morph into me telling myself, yes, its' true, but I do belong here too, and I am pure and truthful, because really in essence, this holiness and truth and beauty in ONLY a part of me, and I know myself to be truth and beauty and pure WITHIN MYSELF ALONE. It's only when you put/place trust and light and love and the power of transformation and redemption and religion into another that you get into trouble, and that's when things, for me, become clandestine and deceitful and yuck!, but if you go into life and be pure, truthful, honest, lovely, all within yourself, you are all good, because these things only exist within yourself in any case.