Recent dream 4 - The sleigh

It seems like I ebb and tide with my dreams - sometimes I seem to 'have' and remember them every night - other times I seem to lie fallow for period of time.

I only remember a snippet of my dream(s) last night - but it was crystal clear. I was talking with F and R, who I work with. They were in a sleigh, getting ready to go, to go to another part of our 'business' that was far away. We were discussing how to hone in, get more productive, get faster, be more specific, be more exact by using a multitude of techniques and ways to be more productive. As we were saying our goodbyes, I grabbed a old bookkeepers style checkbook - the big photo album style one. I walked over to the sleigh and took the book with me - I looked at F and said 'remember this'? Remember when we did one check for one thing, not this a bunch-of-smaller-checks-all-adding-up to a big total, which then would be accounted for individually, and then compartmentalized and divided up, blah blah blah...remember when we did it once, whole-like, steady, centered? And my eyes welled up with tears and I thought that that's what I longed fof; yes, what I so wanted to return to, the old way, the whole way, the not sped up way, the not chopped up into little bits way. F looked misty eyed too - and we both sighed and felt terribly nostalgic, standing there remembering how it used to be and wishing we could go back, do it like that again.


Why can't I 'go back'? What prevents me from taking it more whole, being more centered, not feeling rushed and pieced out? Why do I view these feelings with nostalgia?