Another year!

Not New Year's yet, but another year...
I'm looking to find another venue for this blog.
Stay tuned, she said to no one.

New year

Hardly (well almost), but it's been almost a new year since I last posted here.

Again, like all my life, sooo very much has happened...I got laid off from my job in mid-April was probably one of the most important recent events (and really not laid off but that's what we decided to call it), some people in my family moved back to my home in NC, which is good for the house to get real people in it who care for it, and then I've become quite obsessed with what I call catching up with my sexuality after being married for way too long. Lots of tantalizing and dynamic obsessions in that area for me over the last year.

Time marches along. What still seems like/feels like yesterday isn't yesterday in the technical sense.

My pains, my heart hurts, seem timeless and always right there, which I realized again recently when in looking at the calendar, remembering and knowing back to J and my escapades with him were nearly 7 years ago now! Wow. So much more painful relationship stuff has floated by and gone under the bridge since then hehe...But seriously, again the theme of love given and love lost, openness shunted to pain, honesty deceived...those themes sing still, with a slightly awkward and melancholy voice that never hesitates, only modulates in volume.

What am I going to do with the rest of my professional life? Or am I doing to dispense with my former professional life and make a new one? The latter is seemingly more and more realistic and has greater potential for me being happy.

I guess I'm a bit grief sticker about losing my job of 10 years. Employment like that is similar to a relationship. Once it's gone sour it's hard not to place blame and have hard feelings. Well, they fucked them themselves, so...

Still want to sell/buy/consign antiques, smalls, art, fiber, furniture, rugs, knick knacks, etc. I went to the Concord Flea Market a few times to sell but I think everyone was looking for something for nothing, and that's not exactly a good match for my market. I'm looking into other flea markets too.

2013 Nobel Prize in Physics goes to...

These guys!

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/09/science/englert-and-higgs-win-nobel-physics-prize.html?smid=pl-share

The Schuman Resonance - Interesting!

Just making a link here to remind me to post about this, and discuss:

Here's an interesting scientist perspective....

And the Skeptoid guy discusses it Here

Risks video here

Am I a pessimist?

Was reflecting on BART the other morning, and originally said the following about myself, that 'I'm moving farther and farther away from peace and happiness'. But, as I wrote it down in my journal, I realized that in many ways, more universally, I could say that about about everything and everyone. 

We, and everything, are moving farther and farther away from peace and happiness. 

And in terms of movement and the time parameters of growth and change;

We, and everything, are moving farther and farther away from peace and happiness faster. 

And for at least this week, I don't really think I'm being a pessimist. 

My truths; updated

Finally living back by myself now; pretty much. This feels good.

Quit smoking, vis a vis being very sick with the flu for two weeks, but who cares how it came about, it's about! I think it's been a month now, and it's good! I had a dream about 6 months ago that I had a stroke, which was from smoking, and I think that scared me, so there was some unconscious thinking going on too.

 Coming up, slowly, on my 2nd Saturn return, and with that and 3 eclipses in a row this year, have me feeling like change is upon me, and it's remaking me for an entirely new cycle and beingness.

I had a wonderful dream last night...

even with all the family stuff I'm dealing with these holidays (my son had to go the emergency room last night, my daughter's girlfriend is staying with us for a month, etc.), I had a wonderful and inspiring dream last night. It was about falling in love. I awoke practically singing the praises of falling in love, and essentially, the dream was saying it's all about the journey, not the destination. (This may seem ho-hum to you more self-knowledgeable types, but to me, it's like finding a lost item that you had years ago in your wallet!) I have long pined for endings that eluded me, with a why-me attitude to figure out I have had the lack of long-lived stable, emotionally fulfilling relationships in my life. This morning, after the dream, I told myself that maybe it (the cause of some of my pain) was that I was concentrating on the 'wrong' things to desire from relationships in my life (like the 1000% unrequited love feeling I get when I think of M). Maybe, instead of wallowing in the self-pity, or in the introspective why game thing I can also get tangled up in, I need to concentrate on the journey part; the fun of deciding on where to go, getting a ticket, the hysterically reverent and funny laughter of taking the ride together, the intense feeling of being so tied and close to someone that it takes your breath away; those kind of feelings! Instead of concentrating on the destination (and in my case, the oftentimes disastrous destination), enjoy, reflect on, remember, relish the journey instead! The connectedness, the intimacy, the adventure! All that juicy good stuff that I usually forget when I can't seem to achieve the exact cessation of my desire to become one with someone else forever (ha!) - so let that go, March! Just let the concentration and focus on the desination stuff go! Keep yourself open to the possibilities of wholesome, natural, fun, and the closeness with someone else for the journey. Concentrate on the journey! I was also thinking that now it's the time in my life to concentrate on the jour again...with pleasure!

End of it or begining of it?

Today was supposed to be the 'end of the world', or at least, the end of the Mayan long count calendar, which some folks have read to signify the end of the world.

Well, I'm still here and so is my reality.

I'm much more intrigued by the philosophy behind all this Mayan ancient wisdom stuff...If I put myself in that long ago time, living a life that was based on nature and related processes and procedures, like growing food, etc. and in my spare time I was keeping time, making calendars, marking days to make sense of what I was doing during my time, having rituals that tied me and my family and my offspring to the time-keeping and rhythms of our lives, then I can feel how important this point is time was to them. Think how staggering it must have been to think and plan out all those natural time points to the w-a-y furthest out point that you could imagine! I can totally see how it would look like and even feel like the end-of-days.

When Dad was talking about this day coming, he never really specifically said that the world would end. He always mentioned somewhat vague sentences about how people would ascend, or there would be some sort of dumbstruck enlightenment that would happen to the aware ones among us. That we would be transformed.

The site where this photo is from says similar stuff; that this is the 'time in-between' (When I read many of these similar sites, I can't help but think that this in-between time is like the Buddhist idea of the bardo).

My point in writing this post today is to acknowledge that time is the key element here and how the passing of time can and does effect our consciousness, besides the time of nature, and the external sense of time that is not a part of us. Either as an external force or an internal force, time is change, and if looked at and thought about in a positive way, that can be transforming.

Here's a wish to all humankind to use their time, our time, this time, to be transformed in a positive manner.

In memory of Dr. David Jonassen - the ET giant of constructivism

Wow. So very sorry to hear about the passing of Dr. David Jonassen yesterday, from lung cancer, via the ITForum listserv. I think he was at U of Missouri now; here's a fairly recent pic of him in his office...

Some of the long time and in my mind most revered members of the forum, like Dr. Dan Surry and Dr. Thomas Reeves, wrote quite lovely things in his memory, and Reeves said he was 'a giant in the field'. That is so true!

I even posted a brief paragraph to the list in thankful memory. I'm still at a loss for words to explain the profound impact that the work of Jonassen had on my intellectual development. I studied him when I was in my masters program at East Carolina and it must have been in either my instructional design class with Connie or in my multimedia class with Lee. In any case, the theory of constructivism totally coincided with the curriculum development work that I was writing when I was at Martin CC. As I may not have mentioned before, my introduction to instructional design was after the fact that I 'knew' it and was using the principles of it in my work. It totally made sense and gave me the theoretical background and underlying philosophy that was so missing from what I was already doing. I strongly believe that my ability to think in those terms more naturally came from my Symbas background - what with the Summerhill and Freire overtones of the school's philosophy, coupled with the autonomy and self-responsibility for ones own knowledge building, it was the educational per-curser to mind-tools and self motivated learning. I already knew that stuff, and that's not meant to sound or be boasting; I say that to express how much at home I felt upon learning about the philosophy of what I was already doing - and of course for the incredible expansion into the heights and depths of the theory and everyone else's practices. 
Once I learned about the formal roots and branches of constructivism there was no looking back, as I'm sure it directly effected some of the products that came out of my adult learning theories class at NC State, as well as all the way into my work with Irene, Forrest, and Antoinette on our distance learning instructional design model.

After all this pondering and remembering I felt sad, and not just sad for the passing of a legend in the learning psychology area. I felt sad because remembering David Jonassen made me remember how much I love instructional design, learning theory, and writing meaningful teaching and training curriculum. Today felt like me suddenly thinking about a past lover, a sweet and intense love affair in what seems like the long ago, that somehow, somewhere, only due to the passing of time and the import of other non-related life events, made you forget about that love, that passion, that once was the candle in your life, one of the pillars in the foundation of your soul. Ah, such bitter sweetness. As I tried to explain what constructivism was to Tim I was so dismayed to barely be able to recall some of the central tenets of the philosophy! Yikes! Had it been that long since I'd even thought about these shining glories in intellectual life?! How could something I once was so passionate about and so fully understood have fallen from my immediate grasp?

In memory of Dr. Jonassen I want to put together a mind map of sorts on constructivism, and I'll try and upload that this week sometime.

But for now; thanks Dr. Jonassen - for your vision, your passion, your crowning intellectual achievements.  Your work will always be in my heart and soul.

Vote!

Today's the day that I will once again, vote democratic and be slightly unhappy about it. Meaning: I do like the Green Party candidate this year, and internal arguments still are raging about whether a vote for a non-2 party candidate is a vote for the non-2 party candidate you do NOT want to win. For example, as I don't think that explained itself well;
I like Jill Stein, this year's GP candidate. I vote for her, some say in effect throwing away a vote that should have been cast for Obama, since he is a Democrat and that the race is only between the Dem and the Repubs.

In any case, my other big issue today is the currently unanswerable question of why do we even have the electorial college and why can't we get rid of it? Who are those people anyway??? I like the idea of the popular vote.

GO OUT AN CAST YOUR BALLOT! AND MAY THE SPIRIT PROTECT US! 

Just saying...

That this article (posted on a fine science blog too) supports MY theory of singulation, in that there was not a Big Bang (not really possible in the light of cosmological inflation). IMHO singulation takes place all the time (in other words, the by-product of corporeal singulation is reality creation, or matter, and the non-corporeal by-product of singulation is dark energy, or dark matter).

The author of the article calls what's happening instead of the BB a past-timelike-incomplete spacetime.


Just saying... and more later.

Commenting and Comments

In looking for the East Bay Mini-Makers Faire information, location, etc. for this weekend's event, I saw that they are hosted by Laughing Squid, a blog and a web-hosting co., which led me to check out what that co. was and to look into their blogging, just out of curiosity.

On one of their FAQ pages I saw the following, and you know I just had to add my two cents in here, as I too have noticed that the either decreasing amount of Comments to web stuff, or more importantly, the increasing unworthiness of comments to web stuff. Let's look at what the site said then I'll discuss:

1. Why are comments disabled on the blog? #
   We eventually reached the point that the most of our blog posts either had no comments at all or just a couple of comments. Overall the quality of the comments had been decreasing over the years to a point that the majority of the comments that people left were not adding any real value to the posts.
   Another thing that was happening is that feedback on our blog posts has been moving to outside services, like Google+, Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr. In fact on average we now get way more comments on our Google+ profile than we ever did when we had the blog comments turned on, and with Google+ the comments are higher quality, from more engaged commenters.
   Of course the amount comment spam we receive has only been increasing. Not just the kind of comment spam that can be easily caught with Akismet, but spam comments that looked legitimate, but were actually submitted in order to link to a spam website. It started taking a considerable amount of time each day dealing with sorting through comments to weed out the spam and approve legit comments.
   It’s not that we don’t value your input, in fact if you have any additional information regarding the content of a blog post (links, updates, corrections, etc.), please feel free to let us know. We will often add updates to posts as new information surfaces. 
   (BTW - This is from here).
   
   Where I think the change in comments and commenting on web sites, and I'm referring to articles, postings, etc., is any place that allows comments (except maybe academically-oriented blogs, but that may be because those blogs and sites are moderated?) - a very broad area.
   In any case, what particularly disturbed me is the public comments on, for instance, the sfgate.com site. OMG, and it's a general thing, not specific to any one article or areas of the site; I feel that people are just getting, well, more hateful and, imho, just plain 'ol more stupid!
   
   The lack of humanness, the overall negative tone, the funny at someone's else expensive postings,...it's all very disheartening. AND THEN, after the VP debate last night, I heard one of the news commentators on CNN (I think), say something about how big SuperPacs get together and over-post or completely hog the comments and tweets for there particular candidate or political perspective. OMG! Could that be true?! (Might I be so freaking naive?!) This is obviously some sort of rabbit hole for me because I have been thinking about this for a long time and I have an opinion on it, so lots more to discuss on this topic...

Figuring out retail

Trying to look for small business ideas, plans, assistance, etc. as I am getting a bit obsessed with opening a store of some kind.

Other ideas (#235,742)...

1.  Recycling/Reuse/Green focus: Like that store on College - The Treehouse - but with a local (meaning NC) bend to the items being for sale there. It would be seasonal too; planters, heirloom seeds, plant markers, watering cans, etc. in the Summer, and homemade Xmas gifts, local woven blankets, old-fashioned kids toys. etc. in the Fall/Wintertime.

2. Country-focused: For instance, Le Petite Paris, a retail shop with an emphasis on Parisian items. For instance; French-made brand clothing, handbags, shabby chic stuff that related to Paris, France (I think France wrote the book on that!). One could even have French Providential furniture there too. Bonus on this idea is that I would have to make extensive visits to France to make sure the store is authentic.

More ideas later, but feel free to pipe in any ideas :-)

Still dreaming...

I'm still dreaming; about opening my own antiques/consignment store, or this morning's idea: what about doing a smaller space in a co-op type of thing?

I like the latter idea right now - less risk, more community, maybe better exposure, hopefully. Woke up today and wanted (however stupidly futuristic it may seem!) to write down what I would sell, how it would be arranged, etc.
After looking over all my items I already have, with which I would open the co-op (like inventory really), I am drawn to a more general antique or collectables collections theme. And my beloved chotchkies!

Blue Bottles (most definitely!) 

Shabby chic (lots of stuff can be put into the category, thankfully!)

Cookbooks 

Metal scrolls/shields 

Interior Design focused

Nature-related

Primitive 

Kitchen politics; or Erin learns to be a Chef

So...Erin's going to DVC now to become a chef; she will end up with a couple of culinary certificates and her A.A. degree.
We have been talking about her first few courses, where they visited restaurants and went into the kitchens of numerous dining establishments around the bay area... she and I had already noticed and discussed the preponderance of Spanish-speaking cooks in CA restaurant kitchens, and apparently, her teachers in the program have directly addressed this in her classes.

This isn't an exact quote from one of her instructors, but it's close...that the Hispanics will get a cook's job over Erin (a white girl) because the Mexicans will work harder and longer in the kitchen and won't bitch about getting paid more money than Erin will. Well hey now. 

And on top of that politically charged statement, that fact applies to both Hispanic women and men! (No gender bias here).

Very interesting discussion...