Damn It!

I have no excuses any more since my parents are both dead now - maybe I'm just a simple asshole; no, asshole is not the right word. Maybe I'm a...maybe I'm a...maybe I'm a...

Stupid
Dunderhead
Phony


And on a even less congenial note - I finally wrote back to M telling him how Dad's death had brought up a lot of shit for me regarding all my relationships w/men, and all I was trying to do was, really!, just thank him for expressing his condolences and tell him how I was feeling about him specifically (in a nutshell - terrible, confused, remorseful).

I keep coming back to the idea that NO relationships work out - we all are like ships passing in the night. Everyone has there own agenda, their own issues, their own understandings, and most importantly of all - everyone has their own TIME (frame).

It's a wonder we all can even communicate the simplest idea to one another, let alone complex emotions.