Today, I feel like sticking with the intellectual stuff - lord knows I'm too ephemeral to be thought of as smart, but during this internally heartfelt and confusing past year, maybe taking out the emotional would be a good thing, cause today I don't know which way is up within myself and I'm feeling incredibly stupid and small.

What have I learned during this last year?

Why can't I just get on with things?

Why am I so transparent and vunerable? And then can't even tell/say/deal with my real feelings about my life and the folks in it?

Yada yada - I'm a freaking mess!


More on the non-local universe later - cause I'm thinking (that's a good girl!) that isn't probabilities and quantum stuff still cartesian, in the sense that it's still more than one, or either A or B and then if not A then B is still two things, right? Still dual!?

Words I don't know - but should...with definitions, thankfully!

Sadly, these we gleamed from ONLY the 1.8.06 NYT magazine - yikes!

1. Pejorative
Tending to make or become worse. Disparaging; belittling

2. Invidious
Tending to rouse ill will, animosity, or resentment: invidious accusations. Containing or implying a slight; discriminatory: invidious distinctions.

3. Obeisance
A gesture or movement of the body, such as a curtsy, that expresses deference or homage.

4. Ineluctability
Not to be avoided or escaped; inevitable

5. Obdurate
Hardened in wrongdoing or wickedness; stubbornly impenitent. Not giving in to persuasion; intractable


Thanks to Dictionary.com :-) for the definitions

Is human consciousness an ontology?

Reading The Non-local Universe now...

More from this book about what I'm callling the singulation process..."If nonlocality is a property of the entire universe, then we must also conclude that an undivided wholeness exists on the most primary and basic level in all aspects of physical reality. What we are actually dealing with in science per se, however, are manifestations of this reality, which are invoked or ''actualized" in making acts of observation or measurement."

Not "actualized" but singulated.

New Year 2006

I'm back in CA today from a wonderful, and of course much too short visit back home...it's so hard going back and forth, and there are many ties to both locations...no easy solutions, so I cont. to log my frequent flyer miles :-) and try to make house in both places.

Reading the Non-Local Universe by Nadeau and Kafatos and still reading Brian Greene's Fabric of the Cosmos...

I've signed up for two classes this Spring - Western World Views II, with Tarnas and McDermott, and Edwards' 1 unit class on Time and Physics, or something like that - the text is Greene's book, so I figured I would take it to have space to discuss and process the book...