Ramp up - words

Envisaged - To conceive an image or a picture of, especially as a future possibility: envisaged a world at peace. To consider or regard in a certain way.

Cumbrous - Cumbersome.

Dumping out some notebook entries...

11/14/06
The ghost field - maybe is the intertwining and interaction of nature and consciousness - becoming, singulating, the means of which are inherent in any particular characteristics of BOTH the quantum potential and the outcome of the being at it's fruition.
Yes, then energy remains after singulation - in a quanta of light the photon is 'given off' then dark energy remains.
From Born's autobio = "Einstein said approx. that the waves are only there to show the way to the corpuscular light-quanta, and talked in this sense of a ghost field which determines the probability for a light quanta...to take a definite path. We owe to Born the beginning insight that (a mathematical symbol is here; looks like a capital Y) itself, unlike electromagnetic fields, has no direct physical reality."

April's Dream

Like all dreams, some parts and sequences are clearer than others....

I think we were staying in a French hotel, but it was close to the German border, if it was indeed in France. It was an older, 8 or 9 story brick building, but had that lovely European classical styling in its touches, like marble floors in the bathroom, and fine hand-built wood clothing chests in the dressing room. I think we were on the 5^th floor. We had checked in late the previous evening, coming to the hotel directly from a local restaurant that you had recommended we try for dinner. We had been drinking good French champagne (my favorite) that night too, during dinner, and had brought another bottle up to the room to share and savor more fully, together, alone.

When I first opened my eyes that morning, I remember feeling the sun shining heatedly near my feet at the end of the bed. It was blazingly bright sunshine, and it must have been in the springtime too, because the double-sided balcony doors were slightly open, and the pale grassy yellow gauze curtains, lined with white silk, were blowing open and wide from the breeze coming into the room. It was fresh and clear outside, with a beautiful blue sky peeking over and around the trees that lined the street in front of the hotel. From the position of the sun, it must have been near mid-day. There was a small bouquet of riotously yellow daffodils in a cobalt blue glass vase on the night stand, next to our empty champagne bottle.

I stretched out a little, waking up slightly, and noticed that you weren’t in the bed next to me. I straightened out the front of my black lace and satin chemise, and thought the bed and the sheets felt so nice, like good quality Egyptian cotton, and I pushed them down and aside as I curled up slightly, and turned toward the sunshine and the open doors. It was then that I heard your footsteps come across the room, and I felt you kneel down behind me on the bed.

Your hands and fingers were so warm when you reached and felt deep between my inner thighs that they almost all became one, and I felt my belly tighten as I drew in a deep breathe of pleasure at your probing. We stayed there for awhile, without moving much, as I continued to feel the almost imperceptible movements of your fingers inside me, and with every slight deviation, I grew more and more intensely sensitive to my sharpening desire to have you possess me. Finally, just when I was going to pull you around and towards me, I heard you say something, low, almost under your breath; in French? Or German? I turned slightly and looked into your eyes, asking what you had said. “You are ripe; ready for me”, you answered, as you started to caress me fully now, placing both your hands firmly around my hips, pushing the chemise up and over my waist, over my breasts. You got up on your knees, reaching down and cupping each of my breasts in turn with your hands, licking and softly biting my nipples, making a wider and wider arc with your tongue, moving up slowly to the shallow of my neck, kissing and softly biting me, as I arched my back and grew more responsive. I was breathing more heavily too, my lips moist and full, as you kissed me, our mouths meeting and our tongues intertwining. As you stopped and started kissing me again and again, I opened my eyes and saw the blatant desire for me flash across your face, and I tried to turn over and give my backside to you fully, but you stopped me, saying, no, I want to look at you, to see your face.

You entered me then, from half behind and half astride, my thighs parted slightly, you over me, above me.

I don’t much remember how long we stayed in that position making love, I only remember my building climax and it’s luscious surrender, the simultaneous unraveling of a languid sweetness overcoming me, glowing, expanding, radiating between the two of us, as you rose and fell over me. I heard your breathing quicken and saw your eyes close, seeing that look come across your face again and your brow tighten, feeling your exquisite and tender, almost pained tension, gather nearer to its release. You were beautiful in your passion for me, with me. At last I felt the larger shudder emanate from your entire body, as you pulled your glistening and ruby red cock out of me, and paused, holding it in your hand, letting it fall, as your seeds and their juices fell like midsummer raindrops on to and over the hollow of my belly and hip.....